8 Oct 2022
Questions i have and want to ask you but i don't
Do you think i am being true with you?
Do you think you can only love one person?
Why are you so afraid of love?
Why you were never able to say "i love you" to me?
What do you think you will lose if you give your heart easily to someone ?
Why is it so hard for you to be vulnerable?
Why did it take 33 years for you to understand love and even now why is it restricted to just one person?
How can you not love anyone else other than this person ?
How can you not be vulnerable with anyone ?
What do you think you will lose if you be so?
What are you protecting yourself from?
You liked me as a friend, you were very proud and you say that even today!
You once loved me a little, but why you never cared to acknowledge what we had for 13+ years?
Even now after claiming you understand love, why can't you see that you always came to me no matter who you been with?
Even now, who did you come back to ? Why did you want to cry with me and hug me and tell me ? Why? Have you given a thought about why?
You do feel safe with me, don't you!
You also believe that i will always be there no matter what when it is you, even if you don't accept to yourself.
What do you think you have for me ?
Friendship?? You never let our relationship defined, i have never called you my boyfriend when we were together, i dint think you were my fiancee when we got engaged or did we even call that an engagement? I never imagined you as my husband. What were we?
What are we now?
What is this magnetic pull towards eachother? Why you keep coming back to me in circles?
Have you ever given it a thought?
When i said, in your old age you can have a room in my house, for you to crash you were happy!
Why do you think i said so? Did you even think about it ?
When it comes to me, why you never give any thought or importance. You are so used to me that, none of what we go through for years seem any special to you.
Leave it being special, don't you think it's an unknown force which keeps us together and brings eachother back even though we don't want to be together anymore?
I dont understand all of it, but i did love you and i always will in my head. Yes, love, what else it could be.
May be the force which keeps us together will someday break and one of us will be gone, but until then, i would like to be aware of its presence because you don't have the heart or ability to see it even once in 15 years.