Oct 27 2020

1.30 am 

Would you?

I don't know if I have mentioned this earlier, I might have in a different version. I want to say it again. I want to find you and tell you in person. But again you won't believe me, because you never did!

I never wanted to own you like you thought. All I wanted was to live with you, you were my bestest friend. I can never think of having someone else in your place. May be someday I will find love again though I feel the loneliest at the most these days.

Now or before as long as I have known you, I never wanted to do anything against your wish, I can never say no to you, you knew that. I dint even expected you to love me back, you knew that too. I was also ready for you to leave me, whenever the moment came, like it did 2 years ago. I knew you would leave me and you did leave me. I never understood why I felt so, but I always felt that deep down.

You know what I really wished and hoped for always? I just wished, you would understand me, believe that I really loved you whenever I told you. All that horrible and heartfelt things I did for you was from a place of love and nothing else. 

If there is one wish I would like to have more than finding love and not feeling alone despite of how much it hurts me is for you to believe my love, because you never did !