09 Feb 2021

Is it wrong if the woman makes the first move?

6.17am

I believe in my intuition, I have approached men every now and then when I believed it is what is right for me. My childhood boyfriend who was so shy to even approach me, I made the first move and called him and talked to him. Then the love of my life, I proposed to him inspite of knowing it might go either way, eventually I ended up spending good 13+ years with him. There was another guy inbetween all this who I messaged first to get to know him because I heard he liked me and he ended up as a friend who I still talk to randomly. 

Even now, few days ago, I made the first move and asked out my college crush and went out on a date with him because I wanted to explore my options now that I would like to settle down. And I was about to ask another guy who I strongly believe that his and my values in life would be similar because we met in a permaculture workshop two years ago and we were in touch and I was helping him to find a land for his farming encounter. 

But throughout my life, I have always looked down by my own father, my ex's mother, even few of my friends who have told me that it is guy's job to approach the girl. I wonder why they feel so, why such assumption? All the men who I met and made the first attempt to talk never judged me for it and I did have a wonderful time with what ever time I had with them. I never felt awkward post the moment I asked them, because my intuition always worked as I thought it would.

Still I have the hesitation when I have to do it every single time, I procrastinate a lot before I actually ask. I wonder if men think so much about asking first. Other aspects of rejection I understand but what's wrong with asking first if you feel there is something possibly good in it? Why are we conditioned to believe it ? Why to look down on it ? Why to call names when women do that and that too when the ones who should support do it, it makes you question on the values they have and thier thinking. I am ready to accept both acceptance and rejection, why don't they see it?

Its just that they don't understand me or the way of living from my perspective. I just hope one day I would be making the first move without so much procrastination.