Dec 18 2020

My biggest goal in life is to have a family

12.05am

Yes, when someone said this out loud on internet, I was like, there it is. There it is, the one which I was not able to put it into words though I always wanted that subconsciously all the time I have known myself. 

It's not like I don't have a family or relatives or good friends. I have it all. And most of them are good most of the time. There is no trauma what'soever from my childhood.

But my love life is always a mess, I never was told "I love you" or had someone who I could call as boyfriend or husband or anything remotely close to call it my own family which I longed for throughout the last 10 years since I started being independent.

I live on my own, I have made so many friends, have maintained them wonderfully, I stay close to my parents but they don't get me. I can't relate to them nor do they. But I am not complaining.

Something I long for and I still long for is having a family of my own, not the namesake husband child category, to have a partner who understands me, who also loves me and not afraid of showing the same to the world, that kind of love. 

That's exactly what I miss, that's how I want myself to be in as soon as possible, I have wandered a lot, lived alone so much now I feel it's very apt to say my biggest life goal is to have a family of my own, doesn't sound unambitious or stupid to me, because that's something which makes sense to me as a person and I would be delighted if I have it someday.