17 Dec 2022

A letter that i might not share with you..

But felt important to be written purely out of what I feel in my heart when ever i get overwhelmed by the thoughts upon seeing a happy family and missing a hug from someone i knew.

I want you to be happy and at peace. Yes, this has changed over the years of knowing you from, i want to live with you and i love you, to the former.

Don't take up a job for the sake of it, like any job so you will get paid. You dint study engineering and cinematography to work for a random 25k job because they are gonna pay you.

I don't know if anyone reminds you that you are a thinker, has a beautiful command over your thoughts that you always puts things in a different perspective from most people who we come across easily. It's not common, it's not also easy to think, resist a normal way of life for years and get away with it. Even if it has made you go weak for whatever reasons, it's not all easy and not everyone can do it even after having the privilege to do so.

I wish you were told that, go and find a job which manages to use your potential even if it will pay you less but it will be fruitful in the long-term both financially and mentally and provides you a life work balance and won't make you an another race rat, which you hardly fought against so far. Even if it's a mediocre job, the organisation or the work we associate ourselves with will impact our thinking, the daily people in our life and what we achieve or become as a person in the long term. I hope you are reminded of that, because i know you knew this already.

Yes, i understand the need to have a home, stable job, happy partner in life and most importantly feeling loved. But all of these mustn't put yourselves in a position which will destroy you in the process, so one or many of what you think can be accomplished this way.

Health, which is always a debate in your life shouldn't be left just to you. Yes, we are responsible for our ownself, but not everyone is gifted with good health long term, it's a process, when you are sick and suffering, family friends should support you to become better, shouldn't ask you to get better on your own so you can get back to them. It really doesn't make sense this way, i wish someone told you this. Your father doesn't accompany you to hospitals not because he is gonna fix it, rather he is supporting you in a way he is capable of and we do for eachother because we are family.

I know this because, if not health i have had this struggle in other ways where i was told i am not a certain way and i need to fix it rather my person or friends help fixing it together. No one deserves to struggle alone, so many people and so alone we all are like you said the other day.

These are few thoughts which would cross my mind whenever i spoke to you. Even though i question myself a lot on why do I care so much when it is you and what difference does it gonna make when all of this is mostly lost in my blogs than actually said to you. 

All i wanted was to remind you to be mindful of where you put your future years in the name of job, earning & providing a stable home & fixing your health all by yourself than dealing it as team when it is for two people. Don't make the mistake I made, its not worth sacrificing you in the name of love.