Aug 18 2021

In search of my family? Will I ever find one?

The other day when I asked my brother when will he be coming to India to take our dad to fix his artificial leg, he said he has his priorities and fixing our dad leg can wait. I couldn't say anything to him beyond that.

And a day before that, I told my parents about my brother's new job which sounded like a big deal because it was one of the great companies to work with. They got into an argument by end of the day and my father was more worried that my brother would still not send money to pay off his house loan.

I was trying to initiate talks to bring a common ground where it is ok to share good news and keep monetary expectations at bay. But no, it never happens. In a way they are both ok with how the current situation is and completely ok with it not changing at all.

But I am the only one who want all of us to be in atleast talking terms . But my family doesn't really care about it. I wonder if they even consider them to be part of same family.

I have never felt at home with these people, and I will never feel at home with them . And until I find my family and people, I won't be at peace. I can't only talk about money, jobs and medical issues. There is no heart to heart talks, no laughter, no meaningful moments, it's all very robotic in which I will never fit in.