Oct 27 2020

1.45am 

Why?

You would think why am I writing about my broken love again and again, it's been 2 years, get over it. I can hear you all saying it. 

No one would be interested in reading this nor even show empathy towards my pain and words, it's ok.

I am ok with it, I write for myself. So I don't mind what others think. Also I can only write what pushes me to write, I can't write if I don't feel it inside me, now the words flow on its own and I don't want to control it because it's you again. I am writing the second one in few minutes after the first one tonight. I dint write a word last month, I have to go pee, I have to sleep because I have to wake up early tomorrow to work out, I know I should, but still something in me forces me to write it here. This is my only solace. 

Judge all you want. But I will write my love, my pain, my you, yeah "my you" as many times as I want and as long as I want and however I want, because this is mine, this is my space, this is my moment to feel and say it out loud and this is my moment to scream at top of my lungs and cry as much I want to. 

It gives me peace even if it hurts so much to relive the memories and makes my lonely nights more real than what it is. But this is how I get my peace, I need my peace. I need this