Jan 2 2020

I don't remember !

I don't remember the last time I was hugged this way..

I don't remember the forehead kiss, I wonder if I ever was kissed on my forehead..

I don't remember him wanting my legs over him the whole night..

I don't remember him stroke and tuck my hair out of my face while I lay beside him.. 

I don't remember falling asleep like a baby with his arms wrapped around me ..

I don't remember him ask if I take care of myself in-between all the kisses and hugs..

I don't remember interwining my fingers with him in the middle of the night for no reason..

I don't remember the last time I felt wanted by someone, his body so close to mine clearly reciprocating the same..

I don't remember him holding my hands while I tried to hug even when he slept..

I don't remember the last time I was hugged as soon as I turned around to sleep the other side like a reflex..

I don't remember getting kissed randomly whenever he turned in the middle of the night..

I don't remember the last time i kept seeing him through out the night and trying to touch his hair.. 

It was either not felt at all, or it was always combined with pain and fear..

This time there was no pain or fear, not sure if it's because I didn't know him or it was my first encounter in a casual relationship or was he really sent to me by god..

I see, seeing him and experiencing all these through him as a gift rather than a mere coincidence or lust..

PS: I wanted to put a million explanations on why I wrote this or why I am sharing this with you, still I have refrained from doing so. But, I wanted to say this, thank you for that night and it meant something to me for real. You made me feel good in and out, not just in words, after a really really long time.