Oct 13 2019

I am in love..

I think I am in love, yeah. Its happening and I am not able to stop or control..

After meeting him for the second time, I gave myself a week until Sunday from Tuesday to keep thinking about it and smile and feel good as much as I want to. Don't ask me why, I have no explanations.

You know, I am like this. When I like something when it means something to me, I become a little obsessed with the idea of it. And it's Sunday today, I am supposed to stop playing in loop of what felt like the best day of my life.

I couldn't stop crying, I had all horrible thoughts that I would love him and he won't reciprocate. I have talked to one or two of my friends too. Everyone doesn't seem to understand why I said I liked him and why I was not affected when he dint say it back. I still felt so glad that I told him how I felt.

Liking him is different, but I think I am in love with him too. And everyone says I should be more patient more careful and more this and more that, as if I can control how I feel. It's happening inside of me, it's happening involuntarily. I am shit scared that he might not even like me then comes loving me. I cried, I cried asking me why I do this to myself.

But I don't think I can hide it or brush it away anymore in name of just liking him. I think I am in love. Would I be able to tell him someday ? I am so so so so scared and completely in love.