May 6 2019

How can I still miss you ?

How is it possible for me to miss you after everything you did ?

I met you on the hallway in one of the  engineering entrance exams we gave..I was seventeen then, I had no clue that you would break my heart eventually..

We were good till I hit twenty. You were the best that could have happened at that point..I wish I had known that you would make my entire twenties to be dark and painful..

I knew you never loved me as much as I loved you..I knew you saw other girls even when we were together..I knew you slept around and run away from many who eventually advised me to be careful and cursed you to be never at peace..
I knew you used me and now i realize that u knew too but just ignored as long as I stayed with you beyond everything for your need..

I was one mad crazy stalker and shameless woman who did anything and everything to be with you..I was on the verge of ending myself on most of the days where I planned on how to kill myself in front of the train or from falling off a building ..

U doubted my love for you, how could you ? All I had was my love, my blind love.. I remember us and how pathetic I was.. how you led me on as if it was my problem to be that way and never leave you..

How could I still have the slightest feeling of missing you? I don't want to hate you. But I hate that my heart, my stupid heart could still miss you at times.. how pathetic.. grow up girl.. he never deserved it. He never will..