20 Aug 2023
Questions I want to ask but not really sure if i want to know your answers..
Did you ever love me?
Did you really liked me for who i am?
Why you never cared about how I felt?
Why did you leave me? That too within few days?
Why dint you even break up with me like everyone else?
Why couldn't you say "I love you", what do you think you will lose?
Why did you agree to get married?
Why did you change your mind later?
Why did you made me feel so small for everything i did out of love?
Why you never committed on a house for us to live together?
Why you never introduced me to your friends?
Why you always made me feel like I am in some competition to win you?
Why did you always behaved like your life depended on not letting me win?
Why you never spoke to my parents ?
When did you stop seeing me as your friend?
Why was I not enough?
Why did you write my name behind your door when i was your friend and what changed now?
When did all the things you liked about me went away?
Why dint you believe in my love?
Why dint you believe when I said "i never really wanted anything from you"?
Why lie to me all the time even when you know I knew?
Why did you cheat on me? Emotionally, physically in all possible ways?
Why did you stay with me inspite of knowing you don't love me?
Why you choose to travel with me but not live?
Why dint you leave me when you dint have anyone else to run away with?
Why you always came back to me even when you know it would do no good to me?
Why did you make me run around all the time to play catch up with you in different cities?
Why all the false hopes when ever I was in your arms?
Why make me feel that being independent is the key and relationship will never have to support?
Why be in relationship then?
Why dint you even flinch when I cried saying "I am unable to live without you"?
Why was it ok to leave me in hotel rooms all alone because you have to leave even though you dint work and I did?
Why you had no problem in humiliating me in public before strangers?
Why was it ok for you to let me take all the financial responsibility and burden of even arranging the places we met in?
Why you never made the effort to make the relationship work?
Why was it me who is responsible for the failed relationship?
Why my desperation was the reason, why wasn't your lack of everything?
Why you never took any responsibility and was flaunting it too?
Why ?
I have a million whys. For a huge part of my life these were burning questions and i would ask myself but not you. Now for last few years, i don't have these questions as frequent but on days like this it's just non stop and flows like a river and i let it flow too.
But one thing has never changed, I won't ask them. Two reasons, one I don't really want to know anymore, two I don't respect you well enough to give you any credibility for your response.